There are days that I go about without writing something here, not because I've run out of words to say, but because the things I wanted to tell you are too tender, too close that I find that they are only meant to be whispered in quiet moments like this. Right now these words fill me and how I wish you were here with me, or I was there holding you in my arms with your head in my chest as I inhale the sweet scent of your hair.

Why is it on these days my thoughts are of you and that familiar ache in my heart that calls out your name? I hear it now, your name whispered with such tenderness in the night like a sweet lullaby sending me to sleep. As I hear my heart beating in the quiet of the night, I feel an unexplainable knowing that you heard my thoughts. And then suddenly, I am smiling. Goodnight, my dear.

If You Only Knew

Tonight, I write to you surrounded by the sound of pouring rain, the ramblings of my heart endless as the teardrops fall. There is so much I wish to say to you and yet I think that that chance will never come. If  you were here even for a moment and knew that these words are for you, I think I could carry on with this life and it would be enough.

This love for you will be so always. Love will not be less without you by my side, but it will yearn for the sound of your voice and ache for the things it cannot share. There will always be rain and the wind in the trees. And each time rain falls or you feel the wind blow gently past you, it will be me calling, just to be near you. Even for just a heartbeat. If you only knew.

Though we may be two, we will win this battle. This I promise you.

August Promise

To be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in a loud word but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

My dear Papa,

        It's been four years to the day when you went up to heaven. Last night we were all together to celebrate not your death, but your life and how you touched each and everyone of us. You should have seen your apos Noah and Luis. They were singing and raising their hands with us during the corporate worship enjoying the praise and worship. There was a time when Noah turned my head with his little hands and excitedly point at a corner in church. I really could not see anything that would catch his fancy at that time but when he looked at me, he smiled, like he just told me a secret. Somehow I knew you were there and maybe Noah saw you that's why he was smiling. After the worship, all of your BLD friends came to Mama and us showing their love and support. Some even commented how bigger we all were except Mama who was, according to them, "blooming and sexy". 

          After the worship we went to the place in where you and Mama used to eat before going home from the prayer meeting. I saw Mama looking around and remembering those happy moments you two shared in that place. It was already late in the evening and everybody was hungry. And like the Lubaton style of celebrating, we had a feast for dinner! What made it more special was that we got to see and chat with Ate Tatee too via iPad. There are signs of reconciliation between her and Mama, so please Papa, help us pray that their relationship be restored. It was a great night.

           I miss you so much Papa. Thank you for teaching us that family is the greatest treasure a person can have.