Wednesday, October 18, 2017

An Open Letter To My Son

To my dear son Magnus,

This letter is just one of the things I'll keep in my room until you are old enough to make it as your own, including all the other good stuff inside. That day will come when you’ll read this letter and your Mama Christine will have left you alone with it. This was written on the eve of your first month. You’re cozy in the warm arms of your mama, both of you sleeping soundly tonight.

In a few hours, you will be a month old and I’m still staring at you in awe as in the day I first saw you. Sometimes I just can’t believe that you were made because of me. I don’t know if I have done much good in this world to deserve such a precious blessing that is you. For that, I am eternally grateful.

You were placed in my arms at 6:18am on September 18, 2017, and my heart leapt. You were all red and crying...and so was I.

Yes, my son, I cried without embarrassment as the doctor handed you to me. It might sound funny, but you were worth all those tears during our first moments together.

Little did your mama know, I have been searching for a name from the time she told me that she's going to have you. I had been playing around with names such as Sebastian, Griffin, and Jaeger, but they did not seem to have that satisfactory ring to it. And since I wanted you to have a biblical name, the names Samson and Gideon, also crossed my mind.

Your mama seemed to like my suggestions. But in about two weeks before you were born, she asked me what do I think of the name Magnus. Right there and then, I knew. Magnus. A good strong name for our first born son. For your second name I chose Kane— a homonym for the biblical bad boy Cain, for that touch of badassery.

And so that is how you ended up as Magnus Kane Ramirez Lubaton. Soon enough, you’ll learn the meanings behind your name and hopefully live up to it.

What you will also have discovered is how wonderful your Mama Christine is. Before I met her, I was already reconciled with the fact that I'll grow old a bachelor and, to tell you the truth, I had no problem with that. While I did have my share of relationships in the past, none turned out to what I hoped them to be.

I did not expect to be a father either, again contented myself with the fact that I was already enjoying the love of your older cousins Iday, Noah, Luis, Sam, and Matt. As you know, Haeli came only a few weeks before you were born. For me, it was already a good deal—having all the fun and play without going through the sleepless nights and relentless demands of taking care of a child.

Then, somewhere along the way, I met your mother. She changed my perspective in life and gave me purpose and happiness.

Surprisingly, she was 9 years younger than me and yet blessed with maturity and wisdom. For us there was no gap. Within months of meeting we knew that we wanted to be together.

We also knew that we wanted children someday, something that turned out to be more challenging than what we have imagined. We endured one miscarriage, and suffice to say, the experience broke our hearts into pieces.

You are a triumph of love and determination after those trying times. And you have your mama to thank for that, because she bore the brunt of the emotional and physical toll. She did everything and sacrificed a whole lot just to bring you to this world safe and healthy.

More than that, though, she has always taken cared of me and supported me in my shortcomings. She has always been selfless, thoughtful, and generous, putting aside her comforts just to be of help to others. You are blessed to have her.

You are also blessed with a loving kin. Your lolos and lolas, titos and titas, as well as your cousins love you very much. By now you would have known that. And this family will stand by you always.
It was in God's perfect timing that you came to our lives. I just sometimes wish that your Lolo Pat and Lola Alice had lived to see you. And I wish you had been able to talk to them.

I am excited at the prospect of doing a lot of things with you, making awesome memories while you are growing up. We'll have lots of camping trips and Sunday swims, bike rides and quiet walks with your mama. When you're old enough , I'll take you to learn jiu-jitsu and we could come to class and train together. And yes, you’ll get to drive a motorcycle too.

Wonderful, exciting times, all of which and many more I’ll be doing with you. I might be a lot older than most fathers in your age group, but who cares? All that matters is the love I have for you and my determination to be there for you.

I don’t know what age you will be when you read this, but nevertheless, let me give you some advice.
Never be daunted to stand alone in a crowd. Learn the simple joys of reading books and writing letters by hand. Never be afraid to make mistakes. Value love over money. Your family is your sanctuary, always. Be humble and always be kind. Offer help before it is asked. Waste not, want not. Never look for a fight, but never back down from one either. And always have a knife, lighter, and a handkerchief in your pocket.

It'll be dawn soon and you’ll be waking your mama in a bit for your bonding. That's my cue to end this letter.

I love you very much, Magnus. Having you and your Mama Christine in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can only hope that after our years together, you’ll be able to say the same of me and remember me with love.

                                                                                                              Your proud father,

                                                                                                                     Patrick

 PS: Look after my book and knife collection, they'll serve you well.